Civility: Your Team's Ei Advantage

From My Emotional Intelligence Reading List

rev·er·ence, /ˈrev(ə)rəns/

 1.     noun - a deep respect for someone or something.

2.     verb - regard or treat with deep respect.

Research proves it. Common sense and our own experience supports it: reverence matters. Team members who treat one another with respect, establish supportive relationships and demonstrate empathy experience more positive emotions at work. Teams members who bully, disrespect and dismiss others result in a negative team culture. Positive emotions are consistently associated with better team performance and engagement. Negative emotions lead to poor team performance and turnover.

Psychologists tell us emotions are contagious. We subconsciously synch our feelings, body language and mood to those around us, “catching” one another’s emotional state. Likewise, incivility among a team or organization is a collective phenomenon that spreads like the flu.

In her new book, The Civility Project, Coach Ellen Burton provides civility solutions for everyone in your organization including: Steps for leaders to establish standards of behavior and behavioral expectations; Steps for HR to support all employees to a culture of respect and productive collaboration; Steps for Manager/Supervisors in learning to manage their own emotions and conflict among the team; Steps for employees who are victims of bullying and those who witness abusive behavior in the workplace. 

Coach Ellen says it best, “Uncivil behavior is not O.K. Gossip, negative tweets, talking over one another and disregarding or disrespectful behavior is not the way to success, even if everyone else is doing it.”

With current research, real-time examples and candor, she challenges teams to answer these questions: “Does our team lead in a way that people feel valued and respected? Do we practice behaviors that support a civil workplace?” It takes a lot of trust and courage for teams to answer these questions honestly. Your team’s ability to openly and respectfully discuss your answers will tell you a lot about its current level of civility.

I encourage you to start 2019 by having your team read The Civility Project and address ways every team member (including the team leader!) can treat one another with greater respect.

You can find The Civility Project by coach Ellen J. Burton on Amazon and here: You can receive my monthly emotional intelligence book recommendations by following me on LinkedIn, Twitter and signing up for The EQ Advantage at 

Happy 2019! Make this the year you Turn Your IQ into EQ!

Susan, The Ei Coach

Susan ClarineComment